


longing woe

by tougenkyous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied Hinata Shouyou/Yachi Hitoka - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Break-up, M/M, Unrequited Love, hq rare pair weekend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 10:17:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4475645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tougenkyous/pseuds/tougenkyous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What is the saddest thing you’ve ever experienced?”</p><p>When Yamaguchi directed to him this question during recess, it took Kei about a whole minute to stare at Yamaguchi, and another to consider his question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	longing woe

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the HQ rare pair weekend, under one of Day 2's prompts, "hurt". Because I couldn't find enough time to finish anything else. ;; A huge thanks to my friend, [Vi](http://the-nisepanda.tumblr.com/), for beta-ing and pointing out the mistakes for me!
> 
> This fic contains background HinaYachi.
> 
> Cross-posted from [Tumblr](http://thetasteoflies.tumblr.com/post/125562561468/hq-rare-pair-week-day-2-ao3-prompt-hurt).
> 
> (Honestly, I sort of pulled this out of my ass, so it feels incomplete. I'm making a promise to myself now that I'll rewrite this as a better, proper full-length story someday, especially since I have an idea on how to reconstruct it.)

“What is the saddest thing you’ve ever experienced?”

When Yamaguchi directed to him this question during recess, it took Kei about a whole minute to stare at Yamaguchi, and another to consider his question.

The saddest thing he had ever experienced, he repeated the question inside his head. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had experienced sadness. He had, of course, had a fair share of heart-breaking incidents throughout his life, but there was simply a lot of them, and Kei didn’t feel like working his brain to filter through them and look for the one that would be classified as the saddest.

“I don’t know,” he replied half-heartedly, taking a sip out of his juice box. Suddenly feeling slightly bitter, he averted his eyes and stared out of the window beside him.

“Tsukki, you rarely tell anyone about your problems, and you seem like you try hard to not let them affect you,” Yamaguchi said nonchalantly. “I guess that’s why this question came to mind, but it’s fine if you don’t have an answer to it.”

Kei hoped he appeared insouciant at the moment, because Yamaguchi’s question was actually powerfully evocative. Sometimes he wished Yamaguchi wasn’t the type to think so much about unnecessary things, especially since the supposedly sad memories Kei had were of the really upsetting kind, and now was a really bad time for him to start reflecting those memories in his head. Yamaguchi had emphasized on the word ‘saddest’, and suddenly a certain memory popped up in Kei’s mind.

Kei almost winced, because it was a piece of memory he had been trying so hard to forget.

Suddenly, there was a pair of voices that grew louder along with footsteps as they neared Kei and Yamaguchi’s classroom. Kei immediately recognized whose voices they belonged to, and at that moment he wanted so much to turn away and get distracted by the view outside the window beside him instead. However, Yamaguchi’s words made him froze in his spot.

“Ah, it’s Hinata and Yachi-san.”

The person involved in the memory he didn’t want to remember. The person he had been trying so hard to get over. The person he had been trying to give up on for a year. And yet Kei had the misfortune to catch a glimpse of him through their opened classroom door when he walked past. His orange hair swayed softly as he paced down the corridor with Yachi. Hinata’s attention was completely on the blonde girl, oblivious to the way Kei’s eyes followed him as he passed by, and Kei thought it was better that way. It was better if Hinata remained oblivious to how Kei  _looked_  at him.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi tilted his head, looking concerned for his best friend. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

Kei didn’t respond. His lips felt chapped. There was a tiny urge to walk out of the classroom, grab Hinata by the arm and ask for a new beginning, but that urge extinguished faster than he could blink, because no matter what, Kei knew what he desired would never become possible.

“The saddest thing I’ve ever experienced—”

Maybe if he hadn’t suggested a break-up on that one fateful winter a year ago, Kei wouldn’t be sitting here, staring longingly. Maybe if he hadn’t let his own thoughts get to the best of him and make him decide that Hinata would be happier with someone else, Kei wouldn’t have to feel the way his chest hurt whenever he saw Hinata with his newfound love. Maybe if he had been more careful, more honest with what he wanted, Kei’s relationship with Hinata wouldn’t had gone back to the way it was before.

Sometimes, Kei thought, it was better like this. Hinata seemed happier with Yachi, and he didn’t even know if he was capable of giving him the same kind of happiness. But it wasn’t enough for an assurance to ease the bittersweet feeling he would get whenever he had to see him.

“—no, nevermind. It’s nothing.”

“Huh?” Yamaguchi blinked in confusion. “Uh, alright.”

His best friend gave him a final look of concern before diverting his attention back to his lunch. Kei sighed softly to himself. It was irritating.  _This_  was irritating. Sometimes he wondered what he did to have to experience this. Why did he have to be capable of having these feelings?

He repeated Yamaguchi’s question in his head again, and this time, he gave an unspoken answer to it.

The saddest thing he had ever experienced, was loving someone who used to love him.


End file.
